It’s time to go

Later this year, I’m swapping this:

2011

for this:

2011

Yes, it’s official… I’m leaving London and moving to Dubai at the end of the year. What? How? Why? I hear you ask. I’ve been asking myself the same questions.

I was born in London and, even though I spent most of my childhood/teenage years elsewhere, I’ve lived here for the last 20 years. It’s my home.

Back in May, my parents asked me: What do you think about us moving to Dubai? ‘You should definitely go,’ I replied. They would enjoy it there – many of their friends from London and Lagos live there now and they’d have a good life. ‘No, we mean all of us,’ said Mum. ‘Hell, no! I’m not moving there,’ I said. I Googled ‘Moving to Dubai’ and the first thing that came up was The Top 20 Reasons Not to Move to Dubai. Yup, definitely not going.

But then I started thinking about it. Seriously thinking about it. If I stayed, I would rent a (very) small flat, it would be winter, it would be cold, everyone would be involved with their husbands/wives/children/jobs. Why exactly did I want to stay when I could be in warmer weather, in a bigger home, with a gym, a pool and other luxuries?

The only thing stopping me was fear. I’d been doing the same thing for so long that doing anything different was bloody terrifying. And the moment I realised this is when I decided that I needed to go. I started asking friends about jobs in Dubai. ‘If you have a British accent, you can pretty much do any job you want.’ Righty-ho, I’ll be brushing up on that then. There are a few opportunities I’m exploring at the moment, but I’m sure things will fall into place.

A few weeks ago I started telling people that I was moving – they’ve all been shocked initially (‘You can’t leave London, you are London!’), but they get it. Twenty years in one place is a long time. In the last couple of years, I’ve been doing the same things with the same people – and now I need to do new things with different people. It’s time to go.

I miss that feeling of getting ready to go out on a weekend, knowing that anything was possible. Anything. These days my schedule is planned weeks in advance – I know who I’m going with, where I’m going, what I’m going to wear (whatever fits), what I’m going to eat and drink (too much), how I’m going to get home (not such a bad thing!). There’s no mystery, no excitement. It’s time to go.

Before you start telling me what a cow I am for complaining about my friends and my social life, let me explain that it’s not them that’s the problem. It’s me. My problem is that I’m not interested in meeting new people any more. In fact, I don’t even know how to have a conversation with someone I don’t know (as I found out last weekend). I’m comfortable in my cocoon-like existence. As long as my friends are around (or I’m around them), this is how it will be. It’s time to go.

Of course I’ll miss London, but I can always come back if it doesn’t work out. And of course I’ll miss my friends, but they’re already planning their trips to Dubai. Dubai is the kind of place where people pass through all the time. And I know this is right for me because I haven’t felt this alive in a long time.

While writing this post, I received my daily ‘note from the Universe’ (via TUT):

‘Next time you feel fear, either right after a major decision or just before one, it usually means you’re exactly where you need to be.’

I couldn’t have asked for a clearer sign, could I?

It’s time to go.

 

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Animals and children

It was the comedian WC Fields who came up with the phrase ‘Never work with animals or children’. Yes, I could imagine it would be hard, but had no idea *how* hard until I decided that my Silent Sunday 15 would be a picture of Rolo. Yes, I am aware that’s not really Rolo in the photo – he’s a dog, not a lizard.

So my sister and I were chatting in my room, and I said that my last two Silent Sunday posts had been of Vinay and I was going to post one of an exotic-looking lizard on Sunday. I’d already done the post and it was set up to autopost on Sunday morning. ‘Why don’t you do one of Rolo instead?’ she asked. Hmm. I could do. Rolo was in the room too, listening to our conversation and probably understanding every word. I’d taken a picture of him a few days before, but it was, to be honest, quite dull.

2011

Yup. Bor-ing.

What should we get him to do? we wondered. 

Aruni put a treat on my bed, he put his paws up and sniffed at it. Aww – so cute.

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I tried to take the photo but the it wouldn’t work because the flash wasn’t on (I was using a Casio Exilim FH20 digital camera – but more about that later). I’ve noticed that when the flash is on, it takes longer to take the photo, which is why it turned out blurry. At this point I also noticed that the batteries were almost empty so I didn’t have much time! I took another photo. He moved.

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A minute later, Rolo had eaten his treat and decided to have a lie-down in my bag. Aww – so cute.

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I wasn’t sure which end was his head and which was his tail but I took the photo using my BlackBerry. ‘Battery too low for flash’ was the message that came up. Oh, FFS – I’m never going to get this picture!

So I picked up the camera again. Rolo heard the click of the flash popping up and stood up – just as I was taking the picture.

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Good grief, I give up! Silly dog.

The following day I was at a friend’s place and his dog (Rolo’s brother actually) was curled up under the coffee table (after sniffing me for the first 15 minutes). And he didn’t move when I took the photo. Aww – so cute.

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Great – I had a photo I could use!

I got home and uploaded it to my laptop, but for the life of me, I just couldn’t get online to change the photo of the lizard to the one of Rocco! I tried before going out for dinner, I tried at 2am when I got home from dinner – but the page just wouldn’t load. Good grief, I give up! A lizard it is then…

And that’s the frustrating story of my Silent Sunday 15!

Your week ahead (26 September – 2 October)

Have a good week, everyone! 

Aries

Pentacles_6

6 of Pentacles – having/not having resources – giving/receiving, taking care of/being taken care of, supporting/being supported; having/not having knowledge – teaching/learning, becoming/finding a mentor, knowing/not knowing a secret; having/not having power – leading/following, asserting/denying your wishes

Taurus

Swords_9

9 of Swords – worrying – doubting all will go well, feeling anxious and tense; feeling guilty – refusing to forgive yourself, denying that you did your best; suffering anguish – feeling depressed, wanting to cry, feeling you’ve reached your limit

Gemini

Wands_9

9 of Wands – defending yourself – expecting the worst, being paranoid; persevering – seeing something through to the end, trying repeatedly; showing stamina – holding fast, keeping up the pace

Cancer

Cups_2

2 of Cups – making a connection – joining with another, cementing a friendship, sharing; calling a truce – bringing together opposites, declaring peace, forgiving and forgetting; acknowledging an attraction – letting yourself be drawn in, feeling a positive response

Leo

Pentacles_king

King of Pentacles – be enterprising – find opportunity everywhere, attract wealth; be adept – have quick reflexes, handle all situations competently; be reliable – meet all your commitments and promises, be dependable; be supporting – readily jump in to help, give generously of time and attention; be steady – avoid mood swings, maintain a calm approach

Virgo

Swords_5

5 of Swords – act in your own self-interest – look out for number one, think of your own needs, know you must concentrate on yourself; experiencing discord – you could find yourself in a hostile environment and experience conflict; witnessing open dishonour – be aware of losing your moral compass and sacrificing your integrity

Libra

17_star

The Star – regaining hope – having faith in the future, counting your blessings; being inspired – realise your inner strength, be stimulated to a higher level; be generous – give back what you have received, let love flow freely; feeling serene – experience peace of mind, find your still centre, savour perfect calm

Scorpio

8_strength

Strength – show strength – know you can endure, take heart despite setbacks; be patient – deal calmly with frustration, accept others; be compassionate – give others lots of space, understand what others are feeling; achieve soft control – be persuasive and influential, demonstrate the strength of love

Sagittarius

Wands_5

5 of Wands – disagreements – feeling everyone is at cross-purposes, quarrelling, arguing and bickering, being at odds with others; competition – feeling the thrill of the contest, rising to the challenge, looking for a fight; hassles – getting annoyed by demands, having minor setbacks, getting irritated

Capricorn

Swords_2

2 of Swords – blocked emotions – denying your true feelings, keeping another at arm’s length, being defensive; avoiding the truth – refusing to face facts, ignoring the warning signs, choosing not to know; being at a stalemate – feeling afraid to act, refusing to decide, staying on the fence

Aquarius

Cups_5

5 of Cups – suffering a loss – letting go of a hope, being defeated; feeling bereft – breaking up a relationship, feeling deprived of love, grieving; feeling regret – being disappointed by events, crying
over spilt milk, wishing for what might have been

Pisces

Swords_page

Page of Swords – use your mind – analyse the problem, use logic and reason, learn or teach; be truthful – stop deceiving, face facts, clear up any confusion; be just – act ethically, right a wrong, accept responsibility; have fortitude – met setbacks with renewed energy, move out of depression, keep your chin up and head high

For previous readings, see Notes by Nectar.

A day at the beach

I was woken up at 10am (after a night of frozen Margaritas and vodka sodas) and the sun was shining – and I was so excited about going to the beach. The weather was amazing – I couldn’t have wished for more.

Two hours later, by the time we got the Boat Club, it was grey and cloudy and I didn’t think we’d even get to the beach! Everyone told us it would clear up eventually so we carried on…

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We left the Boat Club and made our way to Kamp Ikare, a beach club, about 40 minutes away.

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We were the only people there – which was fine by me. We could do what we wanted, play any music we wanted, eat what we wanted…

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Everyone was very chilled out…

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And then the grey clouds started rolling in…

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We thought it might be best to head home…

2011

So we left Kamp Ikare after having been there for barely 2 hours.

And it rained on the way back… 

2011

But not too heavily…

2011

We got back in one piece!

 

Your week ahead (19-25 September)

Holiday over… Enjoy your week!

Aries

5_hierophant

The Hierophant – getting an education – pursuing knowledge, studying and learning; having a belief system –  sharing a cultural heritage, following a discipline; conforming – following the rules, fitting in; identifying with a group – working as part of a team, feeling loyal to others

Taurus

1_the_magician

The Magician – taking action – doing what needs to be done, carrying out plans; acting consciously – knowing what you are doing and why; concentrating – focusing on a goal; being totally committed; experiencing power – having vitality, creating miracles

Gemini

Swords_7

7 of Swords – running away – shirking responsibility, being afraid to face the music; being a lone wolf – wanting independence, preferring solitude; choosing hidden dishonour – being two-faced, deceiving or being deceived

Cancer

Pentacles_5

5 of Pentacles – experiencing hard times – losing a job or income, struggling to make ends meet; suffering ill health – neglecting your body and its needs, refusing to take care of yourself; being rejected – feeling excluded, lacking support

Leo

Wands_2

2 of Wands – having personal power – calling the shots, holding the world in your hands; being bold – taking the initiative, speaking your mind; showing originality – marching to a different drummer, inventing something new

Virgo

11_justice

Justice – respecting justice – insisting on fairness, trying to do what is right; assuming responsibility – admitting involvement, being accountable; preparing for a decision – weighing all sides of an issue, determining right action; understanding cause and effect – recognising the action of karma, accepting the results you created

Libra

3_the_empress

The Empress – mothering – giving birth, cherishing the world; welcoming abundance – luxuriating in plenty, having more than enough; experiencing the senses – being earthy, doing physical activity; responding to Nature – going outdoors, embracing the natural

Sagittarius

Swords_9

9 of Swords – worrying – doubting all will go well, feeling anxious and tense; feeling guilty – being hard on yourself, wanting to turn back the clock; suffering anguish – having sleepless nights, feeling depressed

Scorpio

4_emperor

The Emperor – fathering – protecting and defending, bringing security and comfort; emphasising structure – creating order out of chaos, being organised; exercising authority – taking a leadership role, representing the establishment; regulating – establishing law and order, setting standards of behaviour

Capricorn

Wands_7

7 of Wands – being aggressive – going after what you want, firing the first shot; being defiant – holding out against pressure, refusing to give in; showing conviction – demonstrating strong character, knowing you are right

Aquarius

Pentacles_10

10 of Pentacles – enjoying affluence – feeling financially secure, having a run of good fortune; seeking permanence – being concerned with the long term, having an orderly family life; following convention – taking part in traditions, being conservative

Pisces

Cups_3

3 of Cups – feeling exuberant – bursting with energy, celebrating; enjoying friendship – finding companions, getting together with people you like; valuing community – developing a team spirit, working together

For previous readings, see Notes by Nectar.