After my first photography class at DUCTAC, I walked over to the cab pick-up area expecting there to be a long queue as it was Friday. Luckily I didn’t have to wait long. I got into a cab and told the driver where to go. Two minutes into the journey, I could see him looking at me in the mirror. And so it began:

Him: Do you speak Urdu? 

Me: No. I’m Spanish.

Him: But you look Indian. (Ha, in London Indians used to tell me I looked Spanish!)

Me: I’m Spanish. 

Him: Oh. So you speak French? 

Me: No. Spanish. 

Him: So, country Spanish and language Spanish?

Me: No, country Spain, language Spanish.

Him: Oh. OK. You’re here for work?

Me: No, my husband is.

Him: Oh. OK.

End of conversation. 

I’ve learned the hard way – any time a cab driver asks you if you’re married, just say ‘yes’ or he will offer to cook for you and introduce you to his cat and his fish (I’m not kidding – that really did happen to me in London); any time a cab driver tries to have a conversation with you, just bring your ‘husband’ into the picture; any time a cab driver asks you how long you’ve lived in Dubai, say ‘Three years’ (or anything other than ‘I just moved here’). 

That is all.

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