Notes by Nectar

Your destiny lies in your own hands

I have curly hair.

Very curly.

And I spent years straightening it and trying to make it as less curly/frizzy as I could.


Apparently men don’t marry women with curly hair (because we’re ‘complicated’).

Anyway, last summer my sister was here with her kids and we were swimming every day and it made no sense to blow dry my hair every day so I just left it to dry naturally.

Ever since then, I’ve only had a blow dry if I’ve had my hair coloured (when will grey roots be in fashion, by the way) or if I’ve been to an event (why do I feel the need to do that?).

On average, my hair is ‘done’ every five to six weeks.

So, ever since I’ve left my hair to do what it wants, it’s been in such good condition and I’m really loving having my natural curls back.

However, as much as I love the curls… when I wash and leave my hair, I have no idea what its going to do.

On some days, there are people who would kill to get curls like mine.

On other days, I look like Chaka Khan – Chak-Chak-Chaka Khan, Chaka Khan (Prince wrote that, you know) – and while it may have worked for her in the 80s, it’s not a good look for me (in any decade).


This post is not about curls.

Or frizz.

Or any of that stuff.

I want to know if I over-reacted in a situation.

A friend ‘ruffled’ my hair.

If you have curly hair, you know how bloody annoying this is.

I said to him, ‘Please don’t do that’.

He said ‘OK’.

A short while later, he did it again.

And I said, ‘For God’s sake, don’t touch my fucking hair.’

He didn’t get it.

He couldn’t understand why it was such a big deal or why I was so annoyed.

I know for a fact that this isn’t someone interested in me (before anyone says ‘Oh, but he’s just flirting with you’).

But why (WHY) did he think that it was OK to ignore me when I specifically said that I didn’t want him (or anyone) to touch my hair?

I can’t even explain how annoyed I was by this.

FFS, no means no!

Am I being ridiculous?

Or am I right in being so totally livid by his actions?

I would love to hear what you think.

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